About deacon ray defendorf

Deacon Ray Defendorf was ordained a permanent deacon of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Rochester New York in 1982 and after 38 years of service, has accepted Senior Status – a fancy term for liturgical retirement. He and his spouse Patricia Best Defendorf have traveled extensively with Educational Opportunities hosting over fifty land pilgrimages and cruises. Deacon Ray served as a Director of Travel Ministry with EO and for six years as National Director of EO Catholic Tours.

In 1996, after careers as a radio disc jockey, an elementary school teacher, a health education television producer, and Director of Community Relations and Fund Development at Corning Hospital in New York’s Southern Tier, Deacon Ray fulfilled a life-long dream when he entered full-time church ministry. He has served as Pastoral Associate at All Saints Parish in Corning and Pastoral Administrator of St. James Church, Waverly, NY, St. Pius X Church, Van Etten, NY, and St Mary’s Church in Bath, NY. He retired from full-time ministry in 2009.

Celebrate Life

During fourteen years as founder and director of Celebrate Life, a music ministry for teens, he first composed, performed, and recorded many of his original prayer-songs. Over the years, he has been invited to speak and present concerts for churches of many denominations – interspersing his concerts with scripture, personal witness, humor, and preaching.

We Are Family

Deacon Ray and Patt are the parents of three grown children and are proud grandparents of Jackson Haskins, Samantha and Harrison Koerner, and Peter, and Henry. Krol. During the 1970s, Ray and Patt were short-term foster parents to eleven children,

Rotary

He is a Board member, a Paul Harris Fellow, and a past president of the Corning Rotary Club. As Chairperson of the Corning Rotary's International Grants Committee, Ray worked with the Rotary Club of Soroti Central in Uganda to secure a Rotary International Global Grant of $72,000 to train 150 impoverished, unemployed, teens and young adults skills in sewing and tailoring. Upon graduation, participants receive a treadle sewing machine to start their own tailoring businesses.

There's no business like...

Deacon Ray’s interests also include theater and healthcare. He helped to create the Health Ministry of the Southern Tier (HMST), which for 18 years utilized volunteer physicians, dentists, nurse practitioners, and nurses to provide free medical and dental services to individuals without insurance or means of payment.

Deacon Ray has produced and directed several productions, including Godspell, Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and Nunsense. Ray serves on the Board of Directors of Centre Stage Community Theatre in Corning, NY.

The Warm fuzzies musical

In 2024, through Ray’s effort, Centre Stage Community Theatre was awarded a New York State Community Arts Grant from the ARTs of the Southern Finger Lakes to produce The Warm Fuzzies Musical featuring seven original songs by Deacon Ray. The musical is available for production by theatre groups, churches, and youth groups.

Cursillo

Since making a Cursillo retreat over 55 years ago, Deacon Ray has been an active member of the Cursillo Movement. He has served as a team member and Spiritual director of numerous Cursillos. Three of his original prayer-songs, Gentle Spirit, The Color Song, and You Lead Me, Lord were composed on Cursillo weekends.

all is a blessing

Blessing 1 – The Painful Move to “Senior Status”

Since just before the pandemic hit in 2018, I’ve experienced several difficult experiences that have dramatically changed my life. Among these were “achieving senior status” a fancy term for “being put out to pasture at age 75 without an active parish liturgical ministry.”

Blessing 2 – The Pandemic

The pandemic which killed many and caused people throughout the world to remain masked and distance themselves from loved ones, also destroyed many industries and worksites. The pandemic had a disastrous effect on the travel industry, and ended my salaried position with Educational Opportunities Tours; although I still function as an unsalaried Director of Travel ministry,

Through God’s providence, These two traumatic events have become a blessing.

The Blessing of Prayer

The traumatic end to my parish ministry and my salaried position with EO Catholic Tours led me to make prayer a priority in my life.

Thirty to forty minutes of prayer and reflection using the wonderful “Hallow” app is now on my daily calendar.
Through the pandemic blessing of Zoom, I now join several other deacons for Morning and Evening prayer, reflect on the Gospels each Wednesday night at an online Lectio Divina, and meet weekly with my Cursillo “permanent group” to pray together, and discuss our personal growth in prayer, study, and action.
I once again sing and play guitar at the Saturday evening Mass at St. Catherine of Siena Church in nearby Addison, NY, and officiate at “Celebrations of Life” at a local Funeral Home helping people without a church affiliation to honor the life of a loved one,
And I am an active member and volunteer minister at my online parish, Church of the Nativity, (the Rebuilt Parish in Timonium, Maryland.

Blessing Three - Cancer

Several hospitalizations for sepsis and pneumonia, and most recently, a cancerous tumor on my colon that metastasized to my adjacent lymph nodes and liver, brought about a Third Blessing.

The blessing that came with my colon cancer is a drug called Keytruda which works with your immune system to unmask the immunity shield” that protects several forms of cancer from being attacked by the body's immune system. The infusions have been shown to successfully treat 17 forms of cancer, including the colon, lymph node, and kidney cancers that before Keytruda would have required surgical removal and chemotherapy. In the six months of infusions, I have had zero side effects and CT scans indicate that my tumor and other infections are shrinking.

Keytruda is a very, very expensive drug. But with the help of a surprise “Go Fund Me campaign started by my daughter, the 2024 cost of my infusions and hospitalizations were paid in full and, during 2025, the drug’s manufacturer Merck is providing the medicine without cost through their patient assistance program.

I am confident that these blessings originated with the prayers of hundreds of faithful friends including parishioners of the parishes I served over 50 years of lay and ordained ministry.

CONCLUSION

So we can end this About Deacon Ray Defendorf page of my website, with the witness of one of God’s beloved – me. Our Creator God is loving and compassionate. Jesus, our brother and Redeemer has shown us that the path to eternity is the way of service to others, and the Holy Spirit, the advocate, lives within us and guides our way through the trials and celebrations of life. With them - ALL IS BLESSING!

FAMILY

All true ministry is rooted in relationships that inspire, and motivate us. I am especially grateful to Patricia Best Defendorf, my spouse of 49 years, whose love and patience has opened the door to all other ministries.

FAITH

Since a very young age, I have felt God's call to use my gifts, to share the Good News of God's love. For 35 years I have done this through the gift of my ordination as a permanent deacon.

FIDELITY

God is good! Always and forever.Trust in God and the mutual fidelity promised through wedding vows is the key to the strength and permanence of any relationship. My fidelity to the vocations of husband and deacon are paramount to my life, my happiness and ministry.

papal mass highlights

On Sunday, May 29, 2017, deacons from around the world gathered in Rome for a Deacon Jubilee of Mercy Conference and Papal Mass. On behalf of Educational Opportunities Catholic Travel, I hosted 93 people (including 33 deacons and 3 priests) on a Pilgrimage to Assisi and Rome which culminated with visits to the seven Pilgrimage Churches of St. Lawrence, a Procession through the Jubilee Year Holy Door, the Deacon Conference, and Papal Mass.

Shortly after registering my group for the Jubilee of Mercy events, I received an email from Fr. Geno Sylva, the priest responsible for coordinating participants in the Jubilee Mass for Deacons. Father Sylva requested the names of two deacons from my group willing to serve in some way at the Papal Mass. Without hesitation I offered my services and that of Deacon Doug Bogart of the Diocese of Phoenix who was hosting a large group from his diocese on our pilgrimage.

AN EXPERIENCE I SHALL TREASURE ALWAYS!

It was not until the Saturday morning rehearsal on the Steps of St. Peter’s that our roles were revealed. Surprisingly, I was one of two deacons invited to serve at the altar with the Holy Father. Arturo, a deacon of 10 years from Mexico would stand to the Holy Father’s right, incensing him and Assembly as the Mass began, assisting in receiving the gifts and placing them on the altar and elevating the Cup at the Great Amen.

I was asked to stand to the Holy Father’s left, receive the gifts at the Offertory and set them on the altar. During the preface and singing of the Sanctus, I would proceed (with seminarian servers) to the steps in front of the altar to incense the sacred elements during the elevation of the Body and Blood of Christ. Both Deacon Arturo and I were invited to share a Sign of Peace with the Holy Father and receive Holy Communion from him.

The Papal Jubilee Mass for Deacons at St. Peter’s Square in Rome

Francesco, a young transitional deacon (preparing for priesthood) was invited to proclaim the Gospel in Italian and sing the prayers before and after the proclamation and the Sending Forth prayers at the end of Mass in Latin.

Other vesting deacons would form an honor guard for the Holy Father and receive Holy Communion from him. Others of the 1600 deacons in attendance received a commemorative white stole bearing the Jubilee of Mercy logo and were seated to the right and left of the altar along with about 30 concelebrating priests. Wives of deacons and special guests were seated in a section reserved for them at the front of the main assembly area.

As you can imagine, the blessings I received from this unexpected opportunity will be among the most cherished of my life. The pictures accompanying this article are a treasured reminder of this day.